Reframing ‘’Toxic Masculinity’’: It’s time to talk about men’s mental mealth
When we speak about mental health, we often overlook a crucial question: what does it mean to be mentally healthy as a man? Mental health is not simply the absence of illness. It includes the ability to manage pressure, maintain healthy relationships, and ask for support when life becomes difficult.
For many men, asking for support is the hardest part.
From a young age, boys are encouraged to appear strong, stay in control, and carry burdens quietly. Expressing emotion is often discouraged, while resilience is defined as the ability to withstand pressure without complaint. These expectations are not always stated aloud, but they are reinforced, through parenting, education, media, peer dynamics, and, later on, workplace culture.
The consequences are severe. In many countries, suicide is the leading cause of death among men under 50. Globally, men account for around 75 percent of all suicide deaths. These figures do not reflect personal weakness. They reflect a world in which emotional pain is often hidden, and asking for help is seen as failure.
Stephen Hall a therapist who supports men to overcome their challenges, reconnect with who they are, and stand tall in their lives again, addresses this directly: “Talking about men’s mental health is essential, because the alternative (silence) can be deadly.”
Why the term “Toxic Masculinity” often misses the mark
The phrase “toxic masculinity” was originally intended to describe harmful behaviours linked to rigid gender norms, such as emotional repression, dominance, or aggression. However, over time, the term has become emotionally charged. Rather than opening space for honest reflection, it often causes resistance.
“They hear the word toxic and go on the defensive,” Stephen explains. “They feel blamed, not invited into the conversation.”
When men feel judged at the outset, they are far less likely to engage in discussions about mental health. Instead of using language that implies condemnation, it is more helpful to speak about restrictive gender expectations- unspoken rules that many men live by. These include beliefs such as:
Men must never cry
Asking for help is a sign of weakness
Real men stay in control at all times
Success is defined by performance and output
These messages are not natural instincts. They are learned behaviours, shaped by social, cultural, and professional norms. The problem is not men themselves. The problem lies in a system of expectations that leaves little room for emotional honesty or vulnerability.
How these patterns play out in the workplace
These patterns do not stop when men enter the workplace. In fact, many professional environments reinforce them. Long hours, competition, and emotional detachment are often rewarded, while empathy and rest are undervalued.
As a result, many men do not feel safe acknowledging when they are struggling. A request for support may be seen as weakness. Admitting to stress may feel like risking one's credibility. Even humour can become a way to deflect from discomfort.
“Burnout is not just tiredness,” Stephen says. “It is emotional, physical, and mental exhaustion caused by prolonged stress, made worse when men feel they cannot speak up.”
Burnout can show up as withdrawal, irritability, detachment, or perfectionism. These are not character flaws. They are coping mechanisms used to maintain the appearance of control. The cost is often hidden until it becomes too great to ignore.
What leaders and colleagues can do
Managers and colleagues play a crucial role in shifting this dynamic. Creating a psychologically safe workplace does not require clinical training. It requires presence, empathy, and the willingness to act differently.
Here are four ways to begin:
1. Be transparent about your own limits When leaders share their personal challenges, they normalise honesty. This makes it easier for others to speak up. Saying “I have had a difficult week” models strength through self-awareness, not silence.
2. Notice changes and respond without judgment Men who are struggling may not verbalise it. They may become more withdrawn or more reactive. Instead of pushing advice, ask open and genuine questions. Stephen warns against using minimising phrases like “you will be fine” or “do not worry”- they may come from good intentions, but they often shut down the conversation.
3. Rethink what success looks like If the workplace only celebrates long hours and emotional control, then it reinforces the same unhealthy norms. Start recognising the value of collaboration, balance, and emotional insight.
4. Make your support real Telling people “my door is always open” means little if that door does not lead to meaningful support. Build trust by keeping conversations confidential, responding with care, and following through with action.
Moving the conversation forward
Men are not the problem. The cultural pressures they face are. It is time to redefine strength- not as silence, control, or endurance at all costs, but as the ability to reflect, connect, and speak openly.
This is why Silatha developed the Men’s Mental Health Module, part of our Taboo Topics Training. Created in collaboration with experts like Stephen Hall, the module equips leaders and teams with the tools to understand these pressures, to shift harmful workplace patterns, and to create environments where men feel heard, not blamed.
The module offers practical guidance on how to talk about men’s mental health in ways that build connection, not defensiveness. It includes real-world strategies for managers, examples of what to say and what to avoid, and clear steps to build trust and psychological safety across teams.
If we want to create workplaces where everyone can thrive, we must start talking about what men are carrying, and how to help them put some of it down.
Book a call with us today to learn more!
Written by Tudor Marinca